50 Shades Darker Cast- What The Flick’s sentiment on actors

Full text transcript of the Fifty Shades Darker movie review:

Hi, welcome to what the fuck, Christy, Alonzo and Matt, we are all tied up and not to talk to you about 50 Shades darker, which actually is not darker. No, having read all three of the books, I can tell you that the second book does get darker than this film get. This film is just silly.

This film is silly. All right. So Fifty Shades Darker starts off with anesthesia, still working at a publishing house. And she gets flowers from Christian Grey, who wants her back. She considers throwing the flowers out and then she does not. And that, I think, tells you pretty much how the story is going to go. And sure enough, they get back together. Spoiler alert, and she wants a vanilla relationship. He agrees to that. But, you know, it gets pretty kinky pretty quick, or at least what this movie would have you believe is kinky. And then the end of the movie, lots and lots and lots of unintentional comedy. It’s pretty awesome. I want you back. I’m not very good at this. I’ve never wanted to try again.

Have dinner with me. OK. I will have dinner with you because I’m hungry, but we are only talking and that is that,

You know, I got to say the least, it look like they’re liking to fuck this time. Like last time it all felt like it was so and such a chore. And so like this like I got to take the garbage out like this. Are they at least they look like they’re enjoying themselves. You know, she’s even like, let’s be vanilla. OK, now you can spank me to ride a bike to that part. I appreciate that. There wasn’t this sort of this this fog hanging over the whole thing. But who cares about these people? You know, they’re just not interesting, right?

There’s there’s this redundancy to the structure of the movie. Right. Because we’ll have a conversation about their commitment and then they’ll fuck and they’ll have a conversation about it. And then I guess you could set your watch by it like he took off his shirt again.

I was OK with that.

Yeah, I am that either. However, it just if there’s not a lot of great momentum. And then I said there’s some random ex-girlfriend who shows up or there’s, you know, random boss hits on her. I think it’s very episodic without a whole lot of momentum. It is the middle movie of these three movies. And I if you

But it is no Empire Strikes Back.

It’s not because the other two Fifty Shades movies. No. Is not. But I will admit that I like the first one. As you all know, Division four. I like the first one. It was glossy and it was well made. We have a different director and we were different writer. Writer is the author’s husband and they have two men making this set of two women. I didn’t notice that. I feel like Sam Taylor Johnson and I’m like Kelly Marcel. Yeah. So you did the first movie. I feel like they got the innate absurdity of this whole series and they had a good time with it in ways that were sharp, whereas the men just go, fuck it, we’re going to make it the soap, the silly goofy. So I’m going to play with it.

And so by the end of the film, the third act turns into, as I said, to come out of it, it feels like.

So we had so much fun.

Soapdish Right. The Calvin Klein and Sally movie that spoofs the idea of soaps. That’s what this felt like. And there’s a lot of really unintentional comedy here. Yeah, and it was hilarious. I mean actually that kind of almost saved the movie for me because

I’m at least. Right.

We did. I mean, I will say the first two acts in this movie as it’s going along, I’m kind of like, OK, look, they’re having sex again. And it’s it’s fine. But it’s it’s just like, OK, come on, come on. It’s it’s not that exciting.

It’s I think the movie resolves their relationship issues pretty quickly. And so then it’s like, well, we have something has to happen. So let’s drag in all these outer things. You know, the Hanzi boss and the old girlfriend and the the the woman who introduced him to, you know, the ways of BDM and blah, blah, blah. Yeah. None of which is particularly interesting. And so it’s like, oh, wait, if we’re if this isn’t going to be about sexual negotiation, it’s just going to be about sex between two people who aren’t that interesting. And and, you know, I said this my review in the rap part of me wants to give these movies a pass because women are allowed goofy fantasy movies as much as men are. And men get a new superhero movie every month. And I think women deserve at least one OK movie a year. That’s about like, you know, career advancement and great clothes. And you know what? With the guy in 20th century, women are referred to as direct clitoral stimulation.

He goes down on her a lot.

He’s very attentive

To you, Christian Grey, you know, but she hasn’t had to ask you. He just does.

Yeah, but but but but but but these movies are so banal. And so the characters are so sketchy that I just it’s it’s irritating.

It’s hard. Yeah. Also, it’s edited in ways they’re unintentionally hilarious. I’m not going to give away the thing that made us all laugh the hardest because of the way it cut. The first one was edited also by a woman, the great envy coats. Oh, that’s right. Right. This is a different person who edited this. And there’s a weird jumpiness to it to the extent that you leaned over to me.

So we missing a few pages.

The script changes and that serves to provide laughs that I’m not sure, as you would say, were meant to be the right.

And in the years since the two years since the last one, like we’ve gotten to see Dakota Johnson do other stuff. She was great hosting. So I love the How to be single was negligible, but she was fine in it. And then these movies just strip her of any personality, I think. Yeah.

I mean, she has some spark here and there and she and there’s like a presence to her and some smarts to her that do remind me of her mom, Melanie Griffith, and that that was like a stillness but an intelligent kind of sense of humor to her. You get glimmers of that, but not yet, not nearly as much as you would like to see that. You know, she has in her

Part of the frustration for me for this movie is that, you know, the first one I think doesn’t do this in the same way. But this one, you know, as you mentioned. They resolve their relationship problems and so what you really early on and so what you’re really getting is you’re watching a healthy couple exploring their lives kind of in a healthy like explore their sexuality in a healthy way. Right. Great props to them. That’s super boring.

Like unless you’re like Jamie Dornan fan. Well, he looks like he’s sleepwalking.

But, I mean, it’s it’s there’s no there’s they take all the conflict between the two characters, right? I mean. A lot of times, not always, but a lot of times, and in an effective erotic thriller, you’ve got people having sex who really shouldn’t be having sex. It’s like, oh, that’s a mistake. I shouldn’t be sleeping with this person. Right. Or it’s, you know, whatever people around them don’t want them to get together or it’s a romantic comedy or some kind of romance where the question there’s no sort of so there’s no stakes. It’s like, OK, great, they’re together. Her career’s on track. He’s a twenty seven year old billionaire who’s

Gorgeous with an underwear model body.

Right. And it’s it’s like, OK, so he sets boundaries and she listens to him, OK? She sets boundaries and he listens to him. OK, great. Healthy for me

Really what I was reading. But I what I was reminded it for about five minutes in there was chasing Amy of all things, because that’s a movie about somebody who is relatively sexually inexperienced, who gets into religion with somebody who’s had a lot more experience and the inexperienced person feels pressured that that that he won’t he’ll never be enough for the other person, even though the person is saying, no, that’s behind me and I want you. You get that a little bit with these two characters here and then they just like it’s all you’re right. It’s all tied up really quickly and like, good for them. That’s very therapeutic. But it’s not good

Drama and it doesn’t come up with her inexperience. Right. It comes up with look like you want this stuff that I don’t want to do. Yeah, right. And I’m worried you want it too much. And he keeps saying, no, no, I don’t. And and. Again, that’s not that exciting like

The movie never indicates otherwise. Right?

Almost no. You don’t see her and not that look like not that I’m saying a woman should do this, but you don’t see her compromising herself. Neither of them are compromising themselves to get to the other one.

They meet in the middle.

They meet women,

Which is take me to the red room of pain and a

Gay. But again, like this is a weird way. I mean, not in a weird way. This shows us a relatively, I think, arguably a relatively healthy sexual exploration and relationships and see. Which is great. Good for

That. And the stop at the movie stop mythologizing him, which the first one does a ton like this one. There’s a little bit of talk about his childhood abuse or whatever, but the first movie was so like your damage and that’s why you like to spank women. And this once they step away from that which. But I guess the big question

In the book is the book explores that more in the book it is darker and

How it gets you into that. How is the book darker? I mean, because

The movie is not dark. So there are some flashbacks of the beginning of this movie that allude to the childhood trauma that he suffered in the book that explores that more and throughout. So you have a better indication of what it is beyond, just like you’re fucked up for this reason. It actually tries to understand him perhaps more. I’m not saying it’s good. I’m saying right.

But that’s I guess that’s makes on efforts, you know. OK, so do we go to the movies to watch characters do everything right? No, no, no, right, right. Like, who cares? You want to see people make mistakes and learn from them and this one, they learn from the mistakes in the first film and they just go ahead. So I was

I was trying to think like, why do I like not the second one, but the first Sex and the City movie and the Sex and the City TV show more than this, which, you know, they’re both sort of aimed at a similar demographic. And one thing that they pointed out that I hadn’t really noticed was that she doesn’t have to spend much time with her female friends in this movie or with any other women. Like she gets the occasional scene with Christian’s sister or the friend or whatever. But for the most part, it’s all about him all the time. And of course, he has no friends because he’s, you know, this weirdo Batman, he totally wears a mask. And this whatever

He does where I’m at. But but yeah, but and that is maybe like the one thing he does that is wrong. He’s very controlling it are still the worst thing he does is put twenty four thousand dollars into a bank account. That’s the worst thing he does.

Yeah. But that he has her routing number. That’s that’s that’s a that’s a heavy degree of intimacy.

You guys get all it does. It is built into stalker territory, but she never really pushes back on it. Never she never says like, OK, this is tilted into weirdness. Nope.

She likes it. The first one, she was a little concerned about it and now it’s cool. Yeah. All right. So what do you number

Four and a half. I mean, it it kind of moves along. And I liked I think there are some improvements here based on the first film. But you’re right, I did there were times where I thought this is not made by women. The way the first one was

I’m saying five is because we had a really good time. I’m not going to say what movie poster is in Christian. I keep an eye out for a little bizarre Easter at the corporate center.

Jane, there was a little much worse. Thank you, minions.

Thank you, NBC Universal.

It’s a weird choice and we never truly compassionate. We just laughed and laughed. So I’m saying five. You’re saying four and a half. What are you

Saying? The unintentional comedy was the only reason I really enjoyed this film. That’s not really it didn’t lost my interest until then. So three.

Ok, so we’re saying. But the music’s good. Yes. We’re saying four point two. Yeah. I like the song that’s playing when Christian is working out in his private gym in the morning. So lonely by the police, so lonely and is still sleeping. So I’m going to is our no I don’t know where it is in the tomato meter. Twelve. Oh come on guys. That I.