Film review of Split (2016)- by MovieBitches

Full text transcript of the Split film review:

Cheers. Welcome to Movie Bitches Episode 138.

Tonight, we’re reviewing Split, the new M. Night Shyamalan movie. Yeah, featuring James McAvoy, featuring James McAvoy and James McAvoy. James McAvoy. He’s the best part of this movie. Absolutely. I had mixed feelings about this movie. I also have mixed feelings about this movie.

So I actually kind of really liked this movie for like the first 80 percent of it. Yeah. And then the ending just really ruined it for me.

You just described nearly every M. Night Shyamalan movie in existence sort. We were like, but this build of tension, it’s great. What the fuck just happened? Wait, this just became like a cartoon.

What I thought there was going to be a twist in this one, and there really wasn’t I mean, that’s his cross to bear.

I mean, not that I’m in trouble, I mean, advice for me, but I feel like what he really should have done is sixth sense right out of the gate, right? Like, bam, everyone loved it. Crazy. He needed to do something opposite.

I’m not doing Twist’s anymore. I do this totally other thing. Deal with it. Then there wouldn’t be. He’s literally just like the twist guy. Right. Right. That guy. Sure. It’s always going to be a. Yeah. Because you’re expecting it. They’re all worse than the first twist. Right. So Soyland so split is about.

Yes. Three girls who get abducted by James Back voice character who has multiple personality disorder. Oh they call it something else like that.

Multiple personality disorder is now somewhat taboo. Not like bad, but like that’s what they call it anymore called dissociative identity syndrome or something like that, just like those did identity.

Ok, USCIRF what. OK, ok, so we get into it. So Betty Buckley, I mean her name came up on the screen and I was like, yes, but luckily I was so excited. She was fabulous, fabulous.

And she also was really nice was that she was then like a really grounded, solid actor character. Yes. On the other side of things. Yeah. That was like this is like a real movie. I spoilers, spoilers, spoilers.

Yeah. And to talk about I feel like it’s just like we can’t really talk about this movie spoilers.

I would say maybe go see it if you were already thinking about the games. I mean like it’s not scary. It’s a pretty interesting movie for the first bit. Yeah. So spoiler, spoiler alert. So she’s like a really good psychiatrist. Like she’s like I’m so sick of movies where psychiatrists are like terrible at their job. Yeah. Like sleeping with their patients are like. Right. Things that happen. But like I want a really good one.

Right. And she was fantastic. She was like because I kept being nervous that he was just going to like murder and murder her. And she was like, I got you wrapped around my little finger.

She was just like, come play with me, you know? Yeah. And so I was actually really hoping that the ending of this movie was that she, like, solved his problems to psychiatry. Like, I was like and then she broke through and they let the girls go together. He went obviously to an institution and like things were peacefully resolved through, you know, like psychoanalysis. And I was like, yes, but not really an entertaining movie, but I was like, excited that that might have happened.

The plot didn’t make any sense, I mean, obviously, but particularly because her whole thing as a doctor.

Yes.

Is that well, I mean, yeah, she made some lines that were very stupid work an individual with multiple personalities and change their body chemistry with their thoughts.

It’s sort of like a quack in the world. Right, because she believes that they are all really different and yet they have physical things.

I like what you believe can become real. Right. And so it was like here, like this guy is like big and strong and this one is like young and weak. This was a nine year old. So he’s not as strong. Right.

Or smart. And this one’s really smart and whatever. And it’s all compartmentalized in the different parts of the brain and whatever. Yeah. And physically manifested. One has diabetes, one the rest of them, whatever.

I was like cool, fine with her. But what was annoying was that in the end her hypothesis was right.

But it didn’t pay off. No, because like I was really I really didn’t want her to die. I really didn’t want to kill her and I really didn’t want that to be the ending. Exactly. And that’s how it ended. Yeah. Basically, he kills her, like getting to the end already. I feel like it’s like real soon. Well, because like, whoa, the ending. Well, back it up. We’ll get there, we’ll build to it short. So he kidnaps these three young girls, two of I mean, the whole movie is sort of an allegory for like privilege in general. Yes.

So there’s well and it’s also about like emotional damage, you know, like that’s really what I feel like was about. But yeah.

But also where you people who don’t have severe emotional damage are privileged that they don’t. Yes. Right. And like and they are less than and they are not as strong and they’re not as equipped to deal with situations if they haven’t been through as much. Right. Is themselves. Two of the girls are that really girl with Big Doe eyes, the anti-social goth ish, you know, like emotionally damaged person who’s equipped for this situation. Basically a lot of things. This movie, I was like, I don’t know how I feel about this.

Like, I feel like you’re not looking back. So I thought it was so weird he. Gets in the car. Yes, and they’re on their phones or whatever, they’re like oblivious and they’re like, oh, you’re in the wrong car when she saw the trailer. Yes. But like, she the whole time is just kind of like in this weird, like, slow mode, like.

Well, so she absolutely could have gotten away. Absolutely. And so I was like, oh, the twist is going to be that that’s like her brother, right? Like she’s not in on it, but she knows him.

Sure. Or something. Can I say Berry seems fabulous. Berry is an extroverted leader. Yes, I am.

Berry is basically Johnny Weir. Yeah. I want to hang out with you. Right. So Barry’s his main personality who holds the lights, which means he’s in control of the body. And it’s all about there’s like a power grab with the OKd guy who’s the big strong guy who also likes to watch young girls dance naked, and Patricia, who is fabulous.

So one point, one of his personality was essentially Mrs. Doubtfire. He’s not allowed to touch you.

What was that like?

She said she goes, she goes, she makes them sandwiches and she’s like, It’s good, isn’t it? It’s got paprika.

He really nailed this.

Like, he was really great from the trailer. I really thought I was going to be laughing at his performance and. No, and he killed it. That was so earnest.

And I think that was almost the problem for the movie. For me. Yes. Was that he was so good at literally portraying all of these different people.

That’s why I was so disappointed by the end, because it was like on his side, you know, I wanted it to be a real movie.

It was like, oh, this is like pseudoscience, but like a real look into psychology and and what abuse does to people and how they cope with it. And I was like fully in and then it was like a nose dive.

Exactly. Because I was like, well, how are they going to end this? I’ve literally kidnapped these girls for like days.

So like even if it’s like deescalates, there’s no good guys in trouble.

Like, there’s no way out. Exactly.

Yes. James McAvoy is just too damn likeable. I just never felt like he was really going to hurt them. No, I like the movie. Didn’t pull the trigger on there being actual danger. Danger for whatever reason. I didn’t think the movie was going to go there. And I didn’t love the like way mental illness was portrayed. But like people with mental illness is something we need to fear.

Right, all the time. Right. You know, that’s sort of such a trope that we need to keep telling the story. Right. They go right back to this trope of civil abusive mother wire hanger.

Yes. What I liked about this was that it wasn’t a disability. It wasn’t a problem, per say.

Betty Buckley’s hypothesis is that multiple personalities might be the key to unlocking the brain shorthand.

And it’s like the next step on a loose personality can be X amount smarter than a different personality. How can we sort of figure out how to apply that? But there is the sense of like you can be a superhero if your mom’s a real asshole and abuses you. You know, there’s a weirdness there. Yeah, I also wish.

So, like, he’s the star. But really, in the context of the characters in the story, I wanted it to shift and I wanted her to be the star and I wanted to see. I mean, she doesn’t confront her, her uncle who’s abusing her, she just. We’ll talk about that. That was weird. Like so they’re showing flashbacks of her as a child. You get the sense that she knows about the world.

She’s like, I know about some shit. Right. You get this right. And they slowly, over the course of the movie, sprinkling these flashbacks and you realize that her uncle is molesting her. Right, exactly. That was actually really well done. It was like really well and really upsetting. And what I like how it would happen. Yeah. And I was like, oh well, yeah, not in a graphic I’m showing you. It’s like, oh, breaks your heart. Yeah. Oh God. Yeah. And so I thought that was actually done very well. But then her arm falls off a cliff too.

So in the end she’s like locked herself in this case or whatever.

It was confusing as to how that mechanics worked.

But whatever. Anyway, so she’s behind these bars and the guy, like, already tried to eat her. We’ll get into it. We’ll get into that.

But so so then he sees that she has all of these scars all over her body, which appear out of nowhere, just from shot to shot.

It’s like smooth. And then it’s just like horrible, like almost tribal markings.

They were like really crazy, like weird scars, like patterned. And I’m like scarred. Where was she getting the scars from? Or maybe she was recovering herself. It was confusing.

It was unclear. It was very clear. Message was clouded.

So she sees them and he’s like, oh, you’ve been through it. You’re not pure. You’re not like a naive, privileged bitch like you’re one of them. Yeah.

You’re more evolved, right? Whatever. You’ve been abused.

There was such a weird message. Sure. Sure. And I was like, okay, fine, whatever, whatever.

He got it in like a second.

He was like, oh, I see what’s going on here. But then like the paramedics that like, are tending to her bites and her leg or whatever. No one was like, where’d you get these scars, young girl? Why didn’t know what to ask her. What’s going on here? Are you OK?

Even if it has to be, she’s in the ambulance and the woman is like one of these and then she gets a look on your face and then, you know, Rack focuses and there’s her uncle and she’s just like. Or whatever, even that like we see him and she confront him yet face to face. Yeah, but she doesn’t do anything about it. We don’t see it.

Well, she does. So the police officer that I’ve.

Here’s my thing.

I mean, I felt like it was enough that the police officer got her just the first two thirds of this movie are good, great, legit good. And then they bring in this beast nonsense like I’m out for the first whole entire part of this movie. I was like, this is an Oscar performance for real. Believed him totally was like, oh, now he’s this person. Yep. Got it. Like a facial thing in their therapy sessions with Betty Buckley is like making him uncomfortable and like, Dennis, can we talk? And he’s just the slightest twinge in his face. And it’s like you can tell like it’s trying to come out. I was like, oh, I got to say I love James McAvoy. Oh, 100 percent love and wish you would get more work. I think he’s fabulous. Absolutely.

And now I’m convinced that he can pretty much play any role, also like a sequel of Mrs. Doubtfire with him on board.

Yes. And like Pierce Brosnan and Sally Field, look the same for me. I don’t know what the fuck is up with that.

It’s a puppet show. So another thing. That is clear through every American movie is that his cameo is absolutely the worst scene in the movie. Oh, I don’t know, he looks good. So he was the guy on the computer would be like, let me get the security footage.

He’s that guy, and the scenes are always horrible, less well written, awkward, terrible, like it’s always just like why is this here?

Like when you’re like a Tarantino cameo, like in Django Unchained, which I have my problems with, but like when the movie falls off a cliff because he shows up with an Australian accent and you’re like, what the fuck is this? The fuck are you talking about? It was like bad and very bad things like giving it are all right. And you’re like, that made no sense. Why was it there? Because he’s the director and he made a cameo. But that’s always what it feels like whenever his commercials are missing. Did you just write this today? If you’re like, oh, fuck, I tried my cameo scene.

So one of his personalities is named Hedwig. Yes. And this nine years old, 11, he’s like nine years old.

I mean, he loves Kanye West. And there is like a fool. I could have watched 20 minutes of this. Right. Is a full blown dance off not I mean, it’s just him dance number.

Macavoy is just doing everything. Everything. And it was so amazing. Right. And I was into it was like, oh, I oh, I was here for it.

And what’s funny is that it was so borderline for me where I was like, is he dancing or is he like convulsing and turning into a different character?

But it worked. I mean, his accent’s. Are worth the price of admission. Sure, there’s like his Mrs. Doubtfire accent, Russian accent, lisp accent is better every day. Yeah.

You know, and they none of them. I mean, because we know he has like a Scottish accent in real life. Yeah. They were great. Yeah, he’s a means that he really is.

I’m glad I found a movie for his perform for him. Yeah, absolutely. So the three girls, I did appreciate that they were like on it, but they were like, we’re going to try and fucking escape some victim shit, some fucked up shit. We got to get out of here, like in every way. The main girl seemed more prepared to be kidnapped, like she’s wearing layers and fiber, walkable shoes. Like everything, the other girls are like stupid circle skirts with like crop top and just plain old. You know what you don’t want to be in when you’re kidnapped. Right. And so the OCD guy keeps on being like, give me your shirt dirty. And one girl is literally in a top and panties. Yeah. And the other girl has jeans. Thermal sweatshirt has a hold of it. She was trying to hide her scars. April, I get it. But I thought she was a real asshole for not being like, hey girl, you’re in your panties. I’ma give you a sweater. Sure. Because that’s fucked up. Yeah, because it’s the long you will cover up your not. I have. I was fucked up. That was fucked up.

So the whole movie, there’s talk of the beast that he’s having, he’s coming. The beast is coming. And it seems like it’s going to be his 24th personality at a certain point.

James McAvoy goes for Jekyll and Hyde. Whole werewolf like juicing.

I mean, he turns into like this like big beefy, like he can climb on the wall.

So stupid, so stupid.

It’s like that he just like rips out so stupid and floppy. It was sort of, you know, like a carnival is like I’m here to eat like pure children, like a real cool, like interesting study about sort of psychology. And then it became a Grimm’s fairy tale nonsense bullshit like this, like, oh, if you believe hard enough, you can turn into anything. A superhero or a super villain, I guess.

All right. So then they explained that, like in this like, weird news. Oh, he’s bad. Which will get you well at the end. And then there’s like the. Yeah.

So. So at the end there’s a news piece where they say, I guess apparently he had the beast was an amalgamation of all of the animals at the zoo, which is where he worked on a few, which I wish they had been clever.

I wish to like because the whole movie you’re like, you don’t know where he works, but, you know, they’re being held wherever it is.

Right. And it’s like in a place where you’re like, what is this fashion house or something like what’s going on?

And so you think, oh, it’s going to be something really interesting. And then it’s like, oh, he works the desu. That’s what he’s turning into. Beast. Great. Because the lake eats the girls, why do you turn into a cannibal? Four, because he’s a lion. I don’t know, that’s why I remember Patricia is like talking about lions and she’s like Pete, their weight in gold and tigers, but then they lose. You think the clever girl. That was great. It was really great. I love Patricia. I did not understand why she was evil, like she was a bad one. Is she representative of his mother? I was going to guess that he knows what you have. For instance, to me, this woman felt spread.

Then it was too. It was like, where am I supposed to tell you the story of a girl and her abuser and now this new abuser. Right. Or is it a story of a guy and his abuser and now how he’s abusing or is it a story of a doctor and a patient or is it a story of a doctor? I don’t know.

Yeah, it needed to decide. I don’t know. You feel like there was like to the news had too much information. Absolutely. Reporters like his name was Kevin Wendell Crumb, he has a dissociative identity disorder, they are calling him the Whored because he has so many personalities and they come out and this is about the zoo. And there was beast that the zoo was like, oh, I there was like way too much where you like they wouldn’t put that on the right. And then they’re like they’re calling it the hard part, but across to these two women and they go the hard. That sounds like something from a while ago. The guy in the wheelchair. What was that? I remember like, no joke. Bruce Willis leans forward and is like, Mr. Glass, you called me Mr. Glass. You have no idea what that is. Nope. So fucking hard. So basically, Mr. Glass is from Unbreakable, which is a different M. Night Shyamalan movie, I think it’s the one he did right after Sixth Sense, actually. And it’s about Bruce Willis. And he is the only guy on that train crashes and he’s the only one that survives. And he finds out that he’s invincible and this, that and the other and sort of like Handcock. But serious, right. Long story short, I read about it and apparently so this movie and Unbreakable exists in the same universe.

Obviously, Bruce Willis was there and there’s talks of doing a third where the beast is Mr. Glass’s super villain. So this is just become the Marvel Universe, right?

What the fuck?

I would say it’s still worth it for James McAvoy to go see it, knowing it doesn’t have a good conclusion.

I mean, if you watch it to this point, we spoiler alert. It’s like 12 times.

Well, I feel like knowing what happened, what happens is stupid. So like knowing what happened maybe wouldn’t ruin the movie.

No, maybe not. Yeah. Like, you don’t appreciate the good part.

I mean, yeah, that’s been very bad for you. Where those Buffy rings. Yes.

You get that pashmina but also make you and bookshelves all of it. A fabulous apartment. I was like if I was like I want to live in her apartment.

Yes. I maybe wouldn’t be mad if this entire movie was therapy sessions between Betty Buckley and you think and it with different personalities. That’s a movie I watch and love. Right. Right. And then she gets through to him. Sure. Great. Like, think my dinner with Andre, but it’s dinner with Betty Buckley with Psychotherapist’s.

Like, I am not sure even if she doesn’t. And at the end he like one of the personalities, like strangles her and murders her. Sure. Because she said the wrong thing or whatever. I don’t I still don’t. I would be disappointed.

But like at least that’s realistic, him turning into some weird supernatural, like, character creature and like eating the bowels of these girls was just too much and killing like the doctor and like the one friend that literally all 23 characters except for the Beast, apparently.

Right. You know, like knew and loved, including Dennis.

Why Patricia’s like like Kevin wakes up at some point she says his name and he comes to the front and he’s like, oh God, what a way to do something. And he sees Betty Buckley’s body on the floor. And I wanted him to fall apart. Right. And just like fall the fuck apart and be like, oh, my God, what have I done? This is the only person who I’ve confided in and just like completely, you know, be a mess and then be like, you should shoot me, shoot me right now and shoot me, please, because I just have it. I was like the fly was just like, you know, just shoot. She just shoots him in the face. Sure. I would have preferred that ending. I would have to I would have been unsatisfied, but less well.

But then also when she looks at him and she shoots him in the face, she says her uncle.

Yes. Yes. So wait, I just fix this. We maybe we maybe you just fix this entire movie we did. It was it was a joint joint effort. Has just fixed the movie. Yes.

That would have been so much down the barrel of the shotgun.

And I could go cause her dad was like, always look down the barrel with two eyes, right? Yeah. I’m looking at two eyes.

And I mean, I’ve been very, you know, like over the top.

But I don’t care because because James McAvoy climbing on the walls wasn’t over the top. Bitch, please.

No, I think it’s terrible. I’m just saying right now it would have been like so dramatic. Absolutely. But I don’t care. Yes. Love.

That’s how the movie ended. I just rewrote it my mind. Exactly. Oh, it was great. Oh, you definitely want to watch it just like watch up until the point when he starts to hold out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Turn it off and imagine the ending. We just told you exactly that. It was cheers to that. Cheers. Cheers. James McAvoy really love him.

Love and.