Review of Cars 2 (2011)- by Chris Stuckmann

Full text transcript of the review of Cars 2:

Cars is the only Pixar movie that I don’t like, and I remember when I saw it for the first time, I was sitting in a theater thinking like, my parents are betraying me.

Like it just felt like that. It felt like I was being betrayed by some close relatives or something, that they were just abandoning me or something.

And it felt so weird because Pixar, it made so many good movies, Toy Story up.

And I wasn’t alone.

A lot of people kind of thought Cars was kind of OK, but most everyone kind of agrees that it’s Pixar is the worst movie and they made a sequel to it for some reason.

So Car still has Lightning McQueen and Tow Mater and they’re going to this World Grand Prix. So their car is challenging Lightning McQueen. And in the middle of all of this, there’s some kind of spy espionage going on. And Lightning McQueen and tell me they’re kind of in the middle of it, telemeters unwittingly knowing that all these people think he is a master spy, even though he’s just obviously a bumbling idiot. I don’t want to get too much into it, because, to be honest, I don’t really want to talk about the plot anymore because I couldn’t stand this movie. I don’t know. I might get some hate for this. I am a huge Pixar person. I love Pixar. I’m not a Pixar hater or anything. I’ve literally pretty much loved every Pixar movie except for the first cars. I don’t know why they made a sequel to this. It’s it’s completely unimaginable to me why they did this.

This movie is so childish, dull, boring, unfunny.

I could count on my hand how many times the children laughed during this movie and I saw this screening. So it was packed.

It’s it’s terrible. I’m sorry. This was a really bad movie and I don’t know what in the world Pixar did. It’s awful. Now, here’s the deal. This is why I think that people might be confused about this to some people really like the character of Tomita, and he is essentially the main character of this movie, Lightning McQueen. It’s like a secondary character ptomaine and gets the most lines, most screen time. He’s integral to the plot. He’s essentially the main character. I cannot stand Tomita. I don’t like his character. He annoys me. I don’t think he’s funny. I think all of his humor is forced and I don’t like his character. His story completely focuses on him, and I couldn’t stand it because of that. So here’s the deal. If you like Tomita, then you will like this movie more than me automatically. So don’t take my incredible negativity too seriously if you like, Tomita. I don’t. So I could not stand this movie. If you’re a fan of the schmoes, not like I am, then you probably have heard of the cartoon cat. It’s Christian’s impression of a cartoon cat who writes movies and just shells out stupid, idiotic scripts. And somehow these scripts get made in the movies. He did it for the first time on his night and day review and I died laughing when I saw it. I couldn’t help but think of that. When I was watching this movie, I was like, This is honestly like some guy just sat with some cartoon guy fire the president of Pixar. This cat just sits down in the Pixar.

Oh, no, no.

I was thinking myself, that is exactly how I feel about cars, too. It’s like something just took over and I was like, what are we going?

What are we going to put the supplies? We’ll make it years.

But it was exactly like what Christine said about nine day.

And I’m telling you, my gosh, what happened during this movie?

I don’t know. This is a Pixar horror film. I almost hated it. Twenty minutes into the movie, I wanted to leave. I almost considered walking out.

It was like, no, just to stay. Just stay. To stay. You’ll do your review. Just stay. This is honestly one of my least favorite movies of the year. The only good things I could get out of it were Michael Caine’s spy character. He had a really cool opening scene. Some of the action with the cars was was cool.

But the problem is they’re cars. Why not make Incredibles to make The Incredibles do. The Incredibles was awesome. Good human characters. You know, you felt for them. These are cars. They try to humanize them, but it fails. I just it’s so childish and it’s just so for kids. But the thing is, even the kids weren’t laughing. Every screening I go to for a major big movie almost always gets applause at the end. For goodness sake.

The screening I went to for The Last Airbender got full house applause. Cars, too. Got no applause. There are children all in this theater. Parents everywhere, no applause. Green Lantern got applause at the screening.

I went to cars too, was silent. And when it ended, like, people were just like immediately getting up. Like, I really think people are disappointed with this movie. I can’t wait to see what other critics say, but this movie is dull, boring.

I just couldn’t stand it. I didn’t like it at all. I’m sorry, guys. I’m sorry for Pixar. I don’t have cars to one out of four stars. It’s one of my least favorite films of the year. I couldn’t help but think of the schmoes illustration of this cartoon cat that just takes over people, just starts writing its own scripts and somehow it gets made. I don’t know. It’s just.

Oh gosh. Poor cars to.