Film review of The Internship- by What The Flick

Full text transcript of the film review of the Internship

You closed the company, everything’s computerized now. People have a deep mistrust of machines.

Have you seen Terminator or two or three or four?

Hey everybody, it’s what the flick. Ben Mankiewicz. Alonzo Durante, formerly of the Associated Press.

Christy, but no one in our right, I’m unemployed and loving it.

And we learn what happens when Christy Lemire leaves the Associated Press. We’re here to bring you the review of the internship. And the press is giving it a good review and a little preview of what’s about to happen here.

What could they possibly have been thinking?

Joslin’s very smart and very solid. Serious journalists have a lot of respect for her. Right. Well, there you go. I don’t know what she’s on it. OK, Alonzo.

Ok, so the internship, it’s it’s Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson. Were we dying to see them together again after The Wedding Crashers? I wasn’t sorry. Anyway, they play 40 somethings who have been fired from their old sales jobs because their company no longer exists. And so they are adrift in the new economy and not sure what to do if they wind up getting internships at Google somehow, despite the fact that they have no training and no qualification. But, you know, they’ve got spunk or something. And can they survive the summer? Will their team win and actually get jobs at the Internet giant?

Take a look at Google. Not a job job. It’s an interview for an internship that could lead to a job.

Welcome to Google. This will not be your average internship. We’re looking at some sort of mental hunger games against a bunch of genius kids, just like a handful of jobs.

You know, I’m totally eager to see them again. I loved Wedding Crashers. I loved old school. This is like a combination of both movies because it was a Luke Wilson, an old school. But come on.

And then Andrew gets to do the right gets guess.

And so I was totally pleased by the idea of hearing about the internship, which I understand why, like in a pitch meeting that goes over well, that like two old guys go to Google and their summer interns, like it’s potentially funny, but there is no bite, no edge.

This movie is so safe. It’s like taking these grown ups who are capable of sort of being raucously filthy at times and cleverly filthy and then making a movie for 12 year olds, except for one scene that’s for twenty five year olds, which seems to be this would be the strip joint where all the women wear tops.

Yeah. The interminable strip club scene with that scene is so indicative of like much of what is wrong here, because this movie is two hours long and as individual scenes go on way too long, individual bits going way too long, it’s probably one or two challenges. Too many, one or two montages, too many.

But like the strip club scene could end on a good like ten minutes earlier at leaves the strip club scene like almost should have been part of a montage, which came later, but it did multiple montages. Right. But it didn’t. It just felt like out of place as because it’s a significant set piece. It’s a big thing in the middle of the movie how they bounce it. Right. It’s how they bond. But it’s such an unlikely way that they would have bond. There’s nothing credible that happens. There’s no I mean, there were a couple of funny lines.

I suppose there was one I thought sort of very sweet, nice, believable scene with Owen Wilson and his love interest, Rose Byrne, which is a whole nother needless thing.

Totally.

And I mean and every time I see Rose Byrne, generally, I’m like, I can’t believe that’s Rose Byrne. She can do so many things that ask to do anything here except look great, which she pulls off. Yeah, I like her in general, but they have this wonderful date together and there’s some really clever lines in that date. And I thought after that I was like, well that was the only good three minutes.

And it’s one of those movies where and this comes up every so often, though, the one that always sticks in my mind is that awful Friends with Kids movie that the Jennifer Westfield made.

But sometimes you’re watching a movie and you realize, OK, this is a comedic situation and these are funny people. And and this is the idea of a comedy unfolding before me. And yet I am not laughing.

It’s because I am not laughing at all.

I mean, it’s just lying there in those times. It’s the thing that you were alluding to at the beginning of, you know, these are guys who used to have edge to them. They had raunch in them. And it’s like what happened with Eddie Murphy when he decided to make these really safe family comedies. This is not that safe. But when somebody who nearly as his best dirty and edgy ghost, Richard Pryor, did the same thing, it’s no fun anymore. I think you guys are fun now. They’re like inspiring father figures in. Each one of them has a moment with these, like, awkward cast-off kids at the Google internship broadcast of super handsome kids.

Right. And brilliant right between glasses on.

So they’re not cute anymore. Let’s talk about Director Shawn Levy. Like, you know, last week, everybody was piling on M. Night Shyamalan and, oh, he’s the worst director and. He ruins everything, Sean fucking Levie makes the worst movies today, I think some of some of the he’s his bottom five for me. They make money, they make a ton of money, but they’re all for the Pink Panther movies and real steel and date night.

Yeah, I mean, just awful comedy in theory, right? Allegedly. And Family you museum.

The first one which I liked. And I thought there were some nice sort of performances in it and fun things in it, but that was clearly for families. That was the idea is that it was sort of safe and innocuous and there were moments in it that were OK and that it delivered on its promise. This when you put Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson in a movie and essentially send them to Google College. And you’re sort of alluding both to simultaneously The Wedding Crashers and Old School. And you you expect it. It has to have a bite to it.

The strippers have to be naked, you know, topless. And there has to be like the six foot range. You got to be something, even if it’s not going to be an edgy comedy, has to be something. It has to do that at all. The moments you laughed at.

There were a couple, you know, but it’s it’s a big bowl of like unflavored gelatin. You know, there’s just nothing going on. It it is prosaic and you need to eat with those. So, yeah, I mean, and the color palette of this movie, I don’t usually notice this sort of thing. But, you know, Google their whole thing with their logo. It’s all the so the primary and secondary colors. Everything in this movie is green, red, yellow, blue. And it’s a solid like if my eyes were raped by Roy GBIF in this movie, it was like it was worse than Speed Racer in terms of just like I want some gray anything.

You know, I’m used to that discussion with your husband. You have to worry about whether or not this is a positive depiction of Google because he thinks it’s like the worst place to work ever based on this movie.

I would think that that was the worst kind of like join the Moonies.

It’s everybody’s too happy and there is too many activities.

You know, you can’t really Google would actually, like, let them shoot on their campus based on the way it turned out. Yeah, well, I disagree.

I would say they make it look like a really cool thing. No, no, no.

And they and they definitely it’s a it’s an ad for Google. And, you know, certainly nobody talks about like, oh, blocking democracy sites in China.

You know, it’s all about who we’re creating the future because they took one scene out, they took away the original the script had a had one of the Google driverless cars crash and Google Apps that that that Google ask that that be removed because they didn’t go bust, though. There was a Google buses and picked up employees. They didn’t pay for it. Google didn’t pay anything but but their cooperation was significant. They shot some at the main Google Hangout. But the whole thing, they recreated it in Atlanta, Georgia technology.

That’s one of the things I read a CNN article, you know, twenty, twenty five minutes ago, they thought about the Fox Theater.

So I did spot Atlanta early on, but I didn’t know that was weird.

Ok, yeah, that’s right. Let’s was it I first thought that was Chicago.

Speaking of geography, can we talk about the fact that this always bothers me when a movie is shot in a city that I know the geography of it. Right. OK, so they’re in Palo Alto, right? They take the Google bus to the city, the city that’s called there.

And then ultimately at the sunrise, they’re at the Marin Headlands looking over at the skyline. Now, did they walk across the Golden Gate Bridge and then hike up to the Marin Headlands where there’s like that one bench for them to sit on?

I mean, the bus, take them back. Where’s the bus?

I guess the best way I know you don’t ever want to watch falling down because that’s, you know, like Michael Douglas walks through all of L.A. and, you know, the day me, the wedding planner, when Jennifer Lopez lives in the East Bay, that is in a cab and the Golden Gate Bridge to go to SFO for a flight like she went all the way up like a little bridge and back down again. I’m uptight about this. Anyway, this is my main problem here.

Then this is a problem which gives you time to think about it, cause you’re just like, oh, my main problem is what you guys referred to earlier was this just long periods of largely complete silence in the theater, except for like, you know, you find like clearly out of fifty people in the theater, you can hear three people laughing consistently. And those are the three people who like it. And that’s why it’s there are some people and why it’s a twenty six percent now on Rotten Tomatoes. But I looked last night and it was forty and this morning it was twenty nine and I looked late and took a shower and it was twenty seven. And when we started today it’s twenty six. I mean is more and more people submit their reviews like this, who knows what it’ll be. Yeah. It’s the first time that Vince Vaughn mentions the whole Flashdance appearance of the operation. So that’s indicative of the whole movie that they will hammer something again and again. There’s a there’s a allegedly funny line that got a laugh in the theater.

I saw with his his him saying on the line instead of online. And then it is like they do it over and bam, it just keeps getting repeated and like, that’s the kind. The thing that as a 40 year old guy in sales who had a computer and knew how to Google stuff like it’s not funny because he would know that he’s not like my dad. And more of my mom might say on the 60 40, it’s just they’ve had computers for 15 years and I really like them, you know, their moments. And they’re just Vince Vaughn patter there. And he wrote this that that I co-wrote it that you might like. He’s the he’s funny. He makes funny things funnier, but there’s just not enough here. That’s funny in the first place to make fun of you are you get tired of that guy though.

Like the fast talking, like smart aleck.

Not in a clever situation deep down joy him.

It’s funny. Dave never talked with us last night. It’s like, you know, I think Vaun and Fabro are fun to watch together unless it’s couples retreat, of course. But, you know, yeah.

I think that that his his schtick can be funny in the right way. And if it’s written well and if it’s in the service of something that is working. But this movie is just so kind of blandly inert.

And Dave, actually, Dave said it felt like a remake of summer school. You know, that 80s movie, it’s very much this kind of like these misfits have to band together and win the thing.

And I think Mark is like the richest person in Hollywood, by the way. Well, yeah, this has been on forever. It’s the number one show in the world. Yeah. I don’t know. I like Ventolin. I just do.

I just think it’s it’s funny, but it’s got to I mean, he’s capable of being very funny, very funny and but it just it’s got to the the idea has got to be funny. And this wasn’t even attempted. This was an attempt to be bland. And then afterwards, you know, shake everybody’s hand.

You pulled it off. Yeah. Well, well done. Yeah. Yeah. All right.

So, no, I mean, I’m the high person here at three point five, but I hated it. Three, two and a half unflavored gelatin, that’s all.

I got more interested in how after Earth turned out legitimately, like after Earth, I was like, oh, how are they going to resolve the situation if somebody’s going to die here?

That just looking at my watch, this is our basic comparison for everything from now on. Do you care about it more or less than what happened to date?

And if I had been wearing Google Glass, I would be more entertained.

So if we give it a we give it a three. Thanks.