Critique of Hobbit: Unexpected Journey- by Spill Archive

Full text transcript of the critique of Hobbit Unexpected Journey

Hey, I got 750 to pay everybody. Now the Hubbert boy, I love hubbies million. Do you love it so much you can’t say the word bitch. I thought you said this is a hobbit. I thought. I thought you said I love hummus. Great. But what does that have to do with how you put some hobbits on some pita bread? That’s good. Good spice.

I like how I want to be the world’s first black hobbit man. I mean that really. Yeah, I did. And you’re going to be 63.

It’s like, oh, well, a six foot three black hobbit set up to an afro. Pick them up. There must be some cornrows on my feet. Be nice, man.

And you’d be traveling with with Gollum, a crackhead just become a black hole.

But I got to hang out with crackheads now and play and play basketball. This is coming from a black man who can’t say the words that Nick’s right there. No, I do.

I really do love this book. I love this book so much. I told you the other day that this is my dream. I know you you all that that you like.

So you don’t have to say I mean, I don’t have to explain to anyone how much I love that I have it down my pants right now. That’s how much I love you. Have a habit in your pants right now. No. The book I’ve held the whole time we’ve known each other, it’s just been sitting there was a Wicklund down there.

They don’t pay attention. He’s reading the book. It’s the grand adventure. And I mean, it’s the greatest adventure lies ahead.

Kind of funny, though, that a little guy just wouldn’t let a bunch of hairy little man up into his house just trusting that they were going to go on an adventure, because I always thought, what if these weren’t actually dwarves in a wizard? What if these were just homeless people, just as all the homeless midgets in a big, tall homeless guy wanted it?

Hey, you weren’t going to admit you first.

They go in and they knocked the shit out of him to take all his drinking and having a good time.

They did not comply.

Come.

This is why they aren’t going to make movies of your book. I always thought it would be kind of funny if the dwarves just ran into other dwarves from other movies and it was not good. Yeah, the elves at that Cobbold, the shoes and the Keebler Elves. The Time Bandits, what did they actually went to the wrong neighborhood and it was the seven dwarves from Disney movies.

They may not as nice as you think they are. They just like when you go, hey, I’ll be happy to come out to play the child and you going to be on fire.

There’s a lot of different opinions on this movie coming from a lot of different people, Leon. You look like a man of middle earth, like because I’m sure what you tell us about what you felt about this movie, I felt about this movie. You know, what’s a great while the movie comes along? It’s three hours long. And I not only don’t get angry at it, but I want more. And this was that movie. It called The Greatest Adventure of All Time. Yeah, I think it’s in the running for being that it actually fix some of the problems I had with the Lord of the Rings movies. I like this so much better than I could have imagined. It’s one of my favorite movies of the year. It’s definitely a high full-price.

Ok, Siras, you guys all remember, like a couple of years ago when I had my formal ceremony, I was married to the Lord of the Rings. Films are very happy and love you. Beautiful. We figured it was time to renew our vows now with The Hobbit. And of course, it’s never going to be the same the second time around. But you know what? This is film and hobbits and dwarves can like Wizard Zap and goblins and trolls and all that. Oh, my God, I’m so happy to see another one of these. Yeah, it’s not maybe not as good as the first time around yet, but it’s still pretty goddamn awesome. This is the full price of a film. And boy, can I not wait for the next.

Oh by the way, Cyrus is a time to draw you. You I have a mop clean up on our side. Might be a bit moist call it what you going to give you.

But thank you sir. All I’ll say is you do go see it man. Stick to what you know. Stick to the twenty four. That’s right. Is that the right number. Twenty four. Twenty four frames per second. It’s going to get you going to reimburse you into the world of Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit in all these short people in Middle Earth, I’m pumped to get into the next one. Let’s do it now. Let’s do it today. This movie is a full price for me.

You get your hands off my wife co-host.

And listen, I’m going to be fair at times, the 48 frames per second rate, it’ll look great bringing out the detail in some of the special effects, making them look more realistic. But at other times, the sets and props, they just look like plastic in the dwarves. Well, they look like actors with a bunch of rubbish put on their faces, not to mention that the first half of the film, it’s a little stretched out. It made some of the scenes boring for me. I’m sorry, but but when we finally get to the Goblin Caves, boy, that’s when things start to take off. The pace picks up. Bilbo plays a bigger role in the story in the set pieces are spectacular. That Gollum Riddle scene is amazing. Whose ass am I going to have to kick to get Andy Serkis an Oscar?

Oh, readers will not shut up. Cheney wasn’t alone.

Overall, this is a high man. I’m just a little upset because I think that they’re taken too much away from Bilboa Story, which is not how the book The Hobbit that I know intended to portray him.

Am I right, fellas?

Fan and I will also let me fan the fan boy and given his review of our mandate, I got 750 to pay everybody now.