The Expendables 2 Characters- a critique by Jeremy Jahns

Full-text transcript of The Expendables 2 review:

[00:00:01] That’s right, after seeing Chuck Norris on screen for the first time in forever, I thought one thing, I’m not shaving for this video, I’m keeping the stubble. Hopefully by the end of this video, I’m going to have the source of Chuck Norris has powers. You can’t even tell it and shake it. A depressing. The Expendables two, so doing this video is going to be simple because the concept of The Expendables two is pretty simple. The concept of the first Expendables movie was to take all the action stars of the past and put them all in one movie now. Thing is, though, a couple of the big actors of the 80s missed out on that party, namely Jean-Claude Van Damme and Chuck Norris. Were supposed to be then they weren’t. Then I guess I saw the first movie. They’re like, we’re down for a sequel if you want to do that plays we need jobs. So now we have The Expendables two with more mayhem and testosterone and explosions and guns and all the cool things that make the world go round and make it just a little more awesome movie wise. That is from the get go. The movie starts out in an action scenes. They’re like, all right, so I know what I’m in for. 50 caliber are shredding through guys. Heads are exploding your like, so it starts out completely kick ass and then it goes, you know, and they have.

[00:01:07] All right. A little bit of dialogue going on. The action kind of slows down, then it picks back up. There’s another action saying The Expendables two had a lot less downtime in the first Expendables movie, the first Expendables movie. I felt like there were a lot of scenes where you’re like, shoot something, please. I felt this one had a lot less downtime effects that still had downtime. But any action movie is going to have downtime. Jean-Claude Van Damme is the bad guy in this movie. I didn’t know that. I thought he was just going to be part of the crew, like, OK, now van Dams and no, he’s the bad guy. He’s the douche bag and he is a great douche bag. Dude owns his role in this movie. You can tell he had a good time with this movie. He’s like, if Johnny Cage from Mortal Combat just had a really bad childhood and he was raised by Cellcom, it’s good to see him back on screen. He really kicks ass. Good to see him as a villain too. When Chuck Norris came on screen, I have expected him to be just like Dr. Manhattan, you know, just assembling tanks with his mind and crushing him into balls and slamming him on the ground. Big Blue Dog just swinging around. You’re like, that’s the Lord with a gun to do so awesome. He’s an icon of pop culture.

[00:02:02] His acting is every bit as good as it was. And Walker, Texas Ranger, I mean, that sincerely kick ass guy, though, he could be the piss out of me. So, I mean, shit, I can’t talk shit about it. I can heal. And my life with his mind, some of the dialogue in this movie, I’m like, that’s just terrible. I mean, it’s cheesy. It’s ridiculous. It’s terrible. But the good thing about this movie is it knows exactly what it is. Some scenes, you know, they wrote it in like, yeah, this is just going to be cheesy. The entire concept of The Expendables is a throwback to 80s action movies. When a movie knows exactly what it is and doesn’t try to be some modern art masterpiece, you got to give it credit and you can’t really be like, oh, no, I’m going to Disney on the dialogue there. Buddy is the person who penned the scripts like I know about the dialogue, you dumb shit. And I love how they had a bunch of references on their movies. I’m back. I’m not going to tell you a lot of the references, but there are some good references in this movie and the end of this movie, guys, the end of this movie. I had dreamed of the end of this movie. I was like, what would it be like if this specific action heroes were in one action scene and they were just tearing the shit out of everything? It happened.

[00:03:07] I saw it willed into reality, but cinematic reality, which still isn’t real, but it was real enough for me. The end of this movie is complete kick ass. It’s what you wanted in the first Expendables movie. Might not have gotten entirely. Now do you have it in The Expendables to the end of this movie alone? Maybe hype for the third movie. The movie knows what it is. It knows it’s an action movie that’s a throwback to eighties action movies. It knows it’s cheesy and it knows how to show you good time. Is it perfect? No, not at all. Did I have fun with the movie? Yep, I did. The Expendables two as a whole is a completely kick ass time. No alcohol required. If you’re looking to watch a movie that’s going to hold you over till The Great Gatsby comes out, I wouldn’t recommend this one. But if you want a cool kick ass movie that fix some of the flaws in the first Expendables movie still isn’t perfect but is a good time. Expendables two. It’s pretty fun. It’s a favorite action movie of all time. What is it? Comment below. Let me know. And as always, if you like what you’ve seen here and you want to see more, click right here to see more. You’ll get out of line.