Full text transcript of Incredibles 2 flick review
This video is sponsored by Audible What’s that, my schnooks, I made a video shitting on Pixar the other day. At the end of the video, I predicted that Incredibles two would be bland and forgettable, just another standard Pixar member movie. Ever since then, I’ve been berated with comments saying how wrong I was. And that Incredibles two is a return to form for Pixar. A lot of people even said that it was even better than the original, but a lot of people also half glue. I figured I would make this video to highlight everything that’s wrong with Incredibles two just to stop you Pixar plebes from overrating this boring baby member movie. Maybe I can also get you lot off the glue huffing as well. I want to begin this review by saying that Incredibles two isn’t objectively an awful movie. As always, with Pixar. The animation is great and there’s nothing directly offensive or insulting about it as a film is nowhere near as bad as a schlock such as the emoji movie or Angry Birds. If all you wanted or expected out of a sequel to The Incredibles was to just see the characters again and see some cute baby shit, then congratulations mate. This movie is actually really specifically catered for you. However, as Incredibles two was written and directed by Brad Bird, who has in the past made some of the best animated films of all time. I think it’s fair to expect a certain degree of quality in the storytelling, especially as the man had 14 years to plan and work out a sequel to a universally loved and respected film. However, it becomes painfully clear from the very start of Incredibles two how rushed and lazy the sequel is.
At the end of The First Incredibles, the family have fully completed their are this dysfunctional family have now become unified and confident superheroes working together as a team. Even Jack Jack has a mask implying his powers have been awakened and he’d be fine with the family.
The fact that they went to this track race with their costumes on underneath further cements them as known heroes that are used to taking on super villains. It’s a really nice ending that wraps everything up in a neat little bow. So it feels a little awkward and janky when 14 years later we pick up exactly where this was left off, only to discover that it seems nobody has actually grown at all and in fact seem to have regressed into becoming less efficient as a unit than before. But the blurring continuity issues don’t stop there. The Underminer, who in the first film declared war on all peace and all happiness.
I hereby declare War on Peace is now in the sequel.
Just robbing a bank and sucking up money. Why are you stealing money from a bank? What you say you have from it was just a weird moment with a giant drill. What you do you have with all that money? Do you have like underground shops? The Underminer escapes with the money and the incredible stop his drill from hitting the town hall. But oh no, they get blamed for the destruction. But this just makes me think, why didn’t they get blamed for the destruction that the giant robot caused in the first one?
It seems like everyone’s hella chuffed about them saving the day and not one. But I suppose we needed some sort of catalyst to establish that superheroes are still illegal. So that’s the opening sequence. Pretty standard action scene. Some jokes here and they’re pretty dumb, but quite fun. I guess you might think it’s as good as any animated Pixar film. But let’s look at the opening of the original and let’s find out how wrong you are in The First Incredibles. The opening sequence shows Mr. Incredible, dashing about rescuing cats from trees, stopping robbers, interacting with the last to go and buddy. All the while we see him checking his watch to check if he’s got time to do this. Heroic acts. It all culminates in Bob arriving late to his own wedding. It’s here that Helen says the key line, which sums up what the whole film is about.
I love you. But if we’re going to make this work, you got to be more than Mr. Incredible.
Bob is willing to prioritize being a hero over every other aspect of his life. And that’s the conflict of the film that he needs to overcome. He’s also a man that insists on working alone. But he later learned the value of trusting, relying on other people. We see him interacting with his biggest fan. He treats Buddy like the last leaf of also something to be raked up and thrown away. We are watching our protagonist motivate and create the antagonist of the film, and we don’t even know it’s happening until much later. Then when you look at the opening sequence of Incredibles two, they pass Jack Jack about during the fight sequence, I guess are a bit dysfunctional. And the theme is about them learning to work together or learning to work with Jack. Jack, either way, this feels like a retread of the themes from before any sloppier and loser because they already learned how to work together in the last film. The opening sequence doesn’t show any important character moments or themes because Incredibles two isn’t really about anything.
So all our favorite characters from the original are back for the sequel, but something’s a bit off about them, they’ve gone all moldy and rancid on the inside, like apples left outside in the summer sunshine. They look the same and sound the same, but they don’t act the same at all that I did.
They’re good.
And you’re going to have the plot of the film starts when a technology company invites Mr. Incredible Frozen and the last to go to a meeting. They tell them they want to legalize superheroes again. And their plan is to change the media’s perception of heroes by strapping GoPro to them and filming them do hero stuff. Despite by inviting all three to the meeting. They only want Helen to do it, which is a pretty weird business decision Helen gladly accepts, despite the fact that last time they were in contact with a private company three months ago, they nearly all died. She goes to do hero stuff while Bob stays home with the kids. Helen is more than happy to do this and has a great time reliving her glory days. Bob is pretty fucked off about it and I would be too.
She spends the whole of the first film telling Bob about how important it is to be present in the family, how being a family man is more rewarding and challenging than defeating a super villain. Helen is extremely dedicated to her family and is the main force pulling everyone together. Now she suddenly is just as much a nostalgic adrenaline junkie as Bob was in the first one. She doesn’t even use her Alastor bike or a super jumps to go back and visit her family.
She’s like staying in a hotel. She doesn’t even want to call and check up on her children. She just wants to talk to Bob about how much fun she’s having.
When I first saw this, I thought Helensvale could be her realizing that being a mother was more rewarding than being a superhero. But, oh, she really learned was that leaving a family to re-enact your youth is actually really fun and fulfilling. I guess she owes Bob an apology for shouting at him, for doing exactly that in the first one.
You live in the glory days. It’s better than acting like they didn’t have.
They happened. But this our family is what’s happening now, Bob. And you are missing this.
Meanwhile, Bob is struggling with basic parental duties. The idea is that he never had to help with his homework ever before. And Helen looked after all three children when they were babies, even though in the first one we can see him having a healthy relationship with his children, he gets all stressed and disheveled. Then his kids walk in and pity him so much that they’re suddenly nice to him. Imagine walking in on your dad. He’s asleep on the sofa. He hasn’t washed in days and he stinks. His eyes are tear stained. I guess I’d suddenly stop being a whiny brat, too. Meanwhile, Helen is fighting a new super villain called Screen Saver who hates screens. Screen saver can hypnotize anyone that looks at a screen and make them do anything. Helen tracks down Screen Saver to his base and we have a really great sequence with some cool visuals and a great buildup of tension. Then there’s an extremely fun chase through the apartment building. But then we go back to this shit pretty quickly.
If I discover the origin of the universe, my brother would find a way to market it as a foot massager.
That’s not even funny. She cashes screensaver, but it’s just the pizza guy weighing screens on his eyes. Helen uncovers the big twist of the movie, which is the private company that hired them is actually evil is fool me once.
Shame, shame on you. The time we have it, boom, we can’t get fooled again.
It turns out that the woman in charge hates Soopers because her dad tried to get help from Soopers instead of calling the police. I know this because she kidnaps Helen and monologues all this to something that the original Incredibles openly and regularly made fun of.
And what does Baron von Ruthless do? He starts my monologue and he starts like this prepared speech about how feeble I am compared to him, how inevitable my defeat is.
Because Incredibles two isn’t a smart satire of a superhero movie, it’s just another superhero movie, which is exactly what everyone wanted. I’m sure unless the girl gets forced to wear the Hitner glasses, which makes everyone who wears them evil, and then Bob goes to rescue her and gets turned evil too. So now the kids are left to save the day. And the first film Dash was impatient, competitive, whiny, manipulative and was driven by curiosity. He learned to be able to compromise on what he wanted by the end of the first film and the sequel. He’s just sort of there because he has to be it doesn’t have any goals or arcs or conflicts. Violent is obsessed with this little weasel, Tony, who now has a completely different face in the first one. When he asks her out on a date, she doesn’t seem to really care that much.
I like movies. I’ll buy the popcorn. OK, movie. There you go. Yeah, yeah.
She learns to be cool, calm and confident in herself. Herself. Value comes from inside herself, not from whether a guy in high school likes her. But now in the sequel, everything she says and does revolves around him, the scenes with her or some of the funniest. But it does feel like she’s regressed rather than grown, but they’ve all regressed. The charm that made them so likable and fun has gone. I don’t get why people love this film so much. Why does everyone think this is such a great sequel? Brad Bird come out some scenes from the original Incredibles. These scenes featured Jack Jack scaring the shit out of his babysitter. He took those scenes and made it into a short called Jack Jack Attack. It’s pretty obvious that this short film is the main inspiration for all the scenes with Jack Jack in the sequel. That’s fine. And all because like all of you, I think the Jack Jack sequences are really cute and funny and a great use of visual storytelling. However, why was all the Jack Jack shit cut out from the first film? Because none of it is relevant to the actual plot of conflict in the film. Every scene in The First Incredibles has importance and progresses the plot. Even in this little montage of Bob with the kids, they work in aspects of that montage into the final fight scene or Ednas Rants Against Capes is later reincorporated. When it came to The Incredibles two, we have long sequences with Jack Jack that don’t really need to be in the film.
But somehow the best parts of the film, the best parts of Incredibles two or the parts of the first film that were cut out when both Bob and Helen get taken over by screen saver, the kids are left for Jack Jack. They drive as fast as they can to get to the third act. And once they’re there, oh, boy, oh, boy. It’s a long dragged out fight sequence on a yacht. Ever wonder why you didn’t feel tense watching this sequence? I’ll tell you why. Notice how the first film doesn’t start with Mr. Incredible fighting a moral person and a huge fucking drill.
It starts with a series of short, low fret sequences. There’s a cat stuck in a tree. A man jumps from a skyscraper. There’s one bank robber with some bombs. A train might crash. From there, it moves on to a fire, upping the stakes a bit. Then he’s stuck on an island. Then he’s weak and vulnerable. Children are there. It all escalates to a huge robot in a city filled with people. It doesn’t show everyone’s powers and abilities straight away. Either way, it’s right to the ends before blowing its load. But in Incredibles two, we start with a large scale city attack, and from there the conflict becomes less and less large scale until the final battle takes place on a yacht with the only people really feeling at risk being the family themselves. However, there’s no tension in the combat since the way to defeat any of the evil superheroes is to just take off the hypnotic glasses, a fact that the characters realize way too late. The only person who realized this was a fucking dumb baby. They visually see frozen change when they hit no glasses gets put on his head. So it’s not like they’re unaware that that’s the issue here. They stop the yacht from destroying the city and superheroes are legalized again. Wow, what a journey. If this film didn’t shit all over the first film enough, they feebly tried to recreate the ending cliffhanger of the first. Viler introduces Tony to the whole family who are all driving them to their date. Then when they hear the sirens, they kick Tony out and all pursue the criminals. In the first one, the Underminer is declaring war on peace and happiness. They’re saving the world this time. They’re just weird adrenaline junkies. They only need one of them to stop the fucking car.
You don’t all need to go, you freaks. The World, established in 2004’s The Incredibles, is original, creative and self aware association. The old Brad Bird could end up giving us is a sloppy, a Reskin version of the first one. With all the clever satire removed, the characters are simplified and the stakes are low. It I’m baffled as to why Bradbourn didn’t embrace the time. Got an older Mr. and Mrs. Incredible coming to terms with their age viler having a child of her own dash. A famous athlete who doesn’t have time for his family. Well, why not focus more on Jack Jack and make him the central focus to the plot, but clearly loves making sequences with him? Well, if he was kidnapped or seized by the government, why not make a film with actual ideas and themes? Why not say something? Make us cry, make us laugh. Give us some of that Pixar magic, please. I’m desperate for it, please. This is now the highest grossing animated film ever. And all of this just begs the question, does it deserve to be because to me, this feels like the epitome of Lazic writing is plans and forgettable. Pixar is no longer making tightly crafted films for families of all ages to enjoy. IS focuses on making films for the fans of their old films. Toy Story four isn’t being made because there’s another part of the story they desperately want to tell. Your childhood is a commodity, something that can be packaged and sold back to you. You can lie to yourself and say these sequels are good. You can say they’re better than their predecessors, or you can accept the truth. And the truth is your enjoy anything when you have a fuck ton of glue.
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